What Am I Doing Here?!?

I’m about to be very honest, and vulnerable with you all.

I barely remember what week I’m on and I barely know what day it is, but I’m deep in business school and approaching my first few midterms and major assignments.

I’m slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on Hell Week. But these last few days have been very rough.  I have been Anxiety City and the Mayor of Overwhelmed Junction. I’ve honesty had moments in statistics and corporate finance where I look at the board and feel like I’m reading martian. On a particularly rough day, as I was walking between classes, I wondered why I even wanted to come to business school.  Why did I pray and hope for something so badly, and I couldn’t even figure out what I was doing here if I felt so overwhelmed.

Now let me say, this scenario is the epitome of first world problems. I’m walking around an ivy league campus, able bodied, on a warm late summer day, wondering why God “cursed me” with the desires of my heart.

Now when I start to spiral down the rabbit hole of my feelings, I get real emo. We’re talking Hot Topic with a studded belt and side-swept Beiber bang emo. But it’s funny how God will show you something in the most unlikely of ways.

My godsister LeeLee came to town and talked me into seeing Amazing Grace with her.  To be honest I wasn’t sure I wanted to see a musical about the hymn my late grandmother Ann loved so much, but I would have taken a break to walk over hot coals if it got me out of looking at excel sheets.

Around the third scene, watching slaves be captured on stage, or seeing the embodiment of my ancestors thrown around and branded, something started to stir on the inside. My great grandparent (my granddaddy Green’s parents) were born slaves, and I’m sure they prayed and believed for something better. There are generations of ancestors who’s faith and prayers are the reason I’m here.  There are countless names I’ll never know, but I know I will meet them one day to say thank you for their belief beyond understanding. I bet my great-grandparents would be so proud to know that one of their decedents walks through the halls of Columbia Business School, and has the audacity of faith to dream so big. By the end of the play I was a sloppy mess of happy tears hearing the words to Amazing Grace and understanding them better.

I think at times I feel almost unworthy to be so privileged, because at times I lose focus on the bigger picture. What part am I supposed to play in the story of my people? Will I be able to live up to my own dreams? I have to remember that it is ultimately about following my dream, but it’s also about honoring all those who made countless sacrifices for me to get here.

It took a broadway musical (which I highly recommend EVERYONE go see) for me to get my head on straight, but I feel renewed and refreshed to take on another week.

Thanks for letting me get a little more honest.

XOXO,

MacKenzie

What I Wore In A Week: First Week of School and Electric Zoo

The first week of school was a blur of excel sheets, learning team meetings, and attempting to stay sane.

Now that I’m wrapping up my second week, I long for those days of orientation when my biggest concern was turning in one homework assignment every day…rather than 5 every day.

But honestly, it took my stylist at DryBar yesterday to remind me, there are people who wish they could have gotten in and would gladly trade places.  Thank you kind hair sage…now for the clothes.

By the middle of the week I was all about comfort and staying cool, so it was a challenge achieving that goal without going straight to my yoga pants and workout clothes. Don’t worry, athleisure will find it’s way to posts once the weather gets cooler.

Also, if you’d like to know how EZoo went, I can’t tell you, I bailed at the last minute because I couldn’t pretend to like EDM any longer!!!!

To see more OOTD posts as they happen during the week, you can also follow me on Instagram.

XOXO,

MacKenzie

Workout Wednesday: 305 Fitness

Sorry for going MIA Monday, I needed a bit of a break…and I was neck deep in learning team meetings, managerial statistics homework, and catching up with some classmates.

Today I want to ramble on about one of my favorite things (that will hopefully become a regular part of this blog), boutique workouts.  My workouts are pretty varied, and I belong to Equinox.  I love my EQ workouts and classes, but sometimes I want to get dressed in my best Luon and head some place new, and that’s where boutique workouts come in.

A week ago I had a late start to class on a Thursday and decided to try out a spot I frequently see on Hannah Bronfman’s snapchat. By the way if you aren’t frequenting her instagram or www.HBfit.com, you are missing out on some awesome wellness inspo!

I’ve been intrigued by 305 Fitness for a while now.  As few may know I’m a frustrated dancer.  I’m not amazing, but I have dreams of breaking it down Step Up style. So I put on my best day glow VS Sports pieces and headed down to the village for a 7am partay!

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First off I knew I was in for a good time when DJ April Fresh stepped into the DJ booth.  Yes, you heard that right, there is a live DJ! My teacher for the morning was Denese Butler. There were black lights, strobes, I’m pretty sure glitter fell from the ceiling (or maybe I imagined that).  It was like going to the hottest club, I was having so much fun I didn’t notice I was working out.  I was dripping in sweat, smiling ear to ear, and riding an insane cloud of endorphins.

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I took a 305 arms class, which had a concentrated arm segment. But I legit couldn’t walk for 4 days after the class, and I loved it!!! The studio is fun, kitschy, and reminds me of my 6 years in the 305.

I’m not lying when I say 305 Fitness is one of the toughest classes I’ve ever tried, but one of the most fun.  I can’t wait to go back and let off some steam from all the managerial statistics and corporate finance stuff swirling in my brain.  I think the best and most rewarding part about the class, its a safe space to be free, have fun, and embrace your inner Sasha Fierce.

If you want to check out 305 Fitness follow the link here.

Hopefully I see you in class, and leave a comment with any NYC boutique workout recommendations you have…or some classes you’d like me to review for you!

XOXO,

MacKenzie

What I Wore In A Week: Orientation

I’m coming to the end of my first official week as a full time MBA candidate.

As I get into my routine, I’m sure every day will start to feel like Groundhogs Day. One part of my routine that I actually enjoy every morning is snapping a picture of my outfit and posting it to snapchat. It’s quick, convenient, and gives me a chance to see what I look like before I fall apart my the end of the day (stupid heatwave).

Since one of my loves is style, and part of this blog is dedicated to style and fashion, I wanted to share some of the outfits here.

I adore mixing high/low pieces. I’m also taking this time in business school to further refine and define my personal style philosophy.  Some of the outfits are missing because I was either very sick or dealing with a very sick dog.

I will admit that business school is a test of mixing comfort with style.  Many of my classes are almost 2 hours with minimal breaks, so my new style requirements have to accommodate sitting for a long time and being able to maneuver the subway easily. Flats and chunkier heels have a more solid place in my repertoire than I expected. I will keep posting outfits, not just because I like sharing some style inspiration, but it also helps me.  It’s like rereading an essay looking for subtle (or huge changes) that can improve it.

Also if you would like to follow my OOTDs in real time (among other things), follow my snapchat at bapsupreme17

XOXO,

MacKenzie

Coco Crazy: Gluten Free Protein Cake

I love food.

I love the process of creating food.

I love health and wellness.

I have a few bloggers that I absolutely adore. One such blogger, Rabbit Food For My Bunny Teeth. Not only is she amazing, has a great plant based focus, but she makes single serve recipes! Now I will be completely honest, I am a portions monster. If a really good recipe has 6 servings, it’s hard to stop yourself at 1/6th of a delicious black bean chocolate cake. A while back she posted an amazing single serving chocolate cupcake/mug cake. Well I just had to try it, with a little modification. I wanted some added protein, and to make it gluten free. I don’t have celiac’s disease, but with an underlying thyroid/autoimmune issue, it doesn’t hurt to avoid it from time to time.

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Adapted RFFMBT Chocolate Protein Mug Cake

3 Tbsp Brown Rice Protein

1 Tbsp Unsweetened carob/cocoa powder

1/4 tsp baking powder

1 Tbsp unsweetened carob chips (or vegan carob, or chocolate chips…use what works for you)

1 Tbsp coconut oil, melted

1 Tbsp maple syrup

2 Tbsp Water

1 Tbsp Egg Whites

1/2 Tbsp Almond Butter

1. Mix dry ingredients – protein powder, cocoa powder, baking powder, and carob chips together in a small bowl. Mix everything together until just combined. DO NOT overmix.
2. Add wet ingredients – melted coconut oil, maple syrup, egg whites and water and stir until batter is well combined.
3. Spray a microwave safe mug generously with nonstick cooking spray and pour batter into the mug.

This recipe is delicious, dairy free, gluten free, packed with protein, and you can fully devour it all alone and not feel awful. I like to top mine with some raw almond butter because why the hell not.

If you aren’t sure about what kind of brown rice protein to get, I recommend Perfect Fit Protein or SunWarrior Protein (I used Perfect Fit Vanilla to make this one).

Have fun experimenting in the kitchen, mix it up!

Can’t wait to hear how much you enjoy this cake :-p

XOXO,

MacKenzie

Legally Brown

From the moment I told my pageant sisters that I had “a completely brilliant plan,” I was going to an ivy league business school…I felt like Elle Woods! I even answered people that questioned my plan with, “what, like it’s hard?!?” (It was, but I we’ll save that for another time.)

Let’s be honest, my bschool app about competing at Miss USA was one step down from Elle’s Harvard admission video where she talked about soap operas and law jargon. And believe me when I say I fully embrace it.

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Today is the official start of classes, and thankfully I’ve done the reading, so I won’t get totally owned like Elle on the first day. But I’m not afraid to welcome the strange badge of honor that I carry…I mean think about it, how many MUO titleholders have attended an ivy league business school.

I even had the pleasure recently of seeing my name on Fortune Magazine’s website, along side my title.

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“Columbia Business School’s Mackenzie Green won the Miss District of Columbia USA in 2010.”

It’s crazy, amazing, and humbling to have my name included among so many amazing MBA candidates.  But my hope is, like Elle, I leave and amazing and glitter covered trail of excellence behind me when I graduate in 2017.

With today being the first day, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate the official start of being Legally Brown…now to find something pink to wear today to celebrate!

XOXO,

MacKenzie

My Worst Relationship

I have to be honest about my absolute worst relationship. I hate running.

Now the asterisk of this statement, I’ve run 3 marathons and 1 half marathon.

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…and I have hated every second of it.

I have tried so hard over the last year, like any bad relationship, to make it work.  I even recently signed up for a half marathon as a way to force myself to fall back in love. Much like a last ditch effort vacation to rekindle a romance, I knew it was a bad idea when I hit register but went through with it anyway.

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Between the stress of business school orientation, and reading Maria Menounos’s Every Girls Guide to Diet and Fitness, it hit me that it was time to cut it off. She talks in her book about the 50 year plan. Try as I might, I don’t see myself 50 years from now running road races. I don’t need to pick up a lifestyle habit that stresses me out, makes me feel awful, and just doesn’t give me that emotional support I get from other forms of exercise.

I have new fit goals, and I’ll share them another time. But I think I’m ready for a trial separation from my worst relationship. Running and I will see each other time to time through some HIIT intervals, a Precision Running Class at Equinox, or even a trip to a boutique workout…but in terms of being as serious as we’ve been in the past, I think those days are over. And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll run another Disney race, or this time apart will draw us back together, but for now running and I are going to see other people.

XOXO,

MacKenzie

Feminism Flashback

I had a sneaking suspicion that today I would be exceptionally busy.

So as a precaution, I decided to throw back to a post from 2014 that still holds relevant as I head into business school orientation.

Hope you like it, and stay tuned for a NEW post Wednesday!

Now for a little lesson on “The F Word”…

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As I embark in to the business/financial world I find the issue of appearance and what’s “appropriate” coming up with my peers and mentors…I remember my Riordan GMAT teacher says, “everyone dresses like they’re going to a funeral for recruiting events.”


I find it interesting that in order for a woman to be taken seriously she must dismiss their personal style in favor of being taken seriously.


My mom always taught me that feminism isn’t a linear scope, that the point of feminism is to give a woman the right to choose whatever she wants in life.  I think far to often feminists, judge other women in the scope of what we are comfortable with.  A feminist can be Dita Von Teese, Beyonce, Gloria Steinem, Jane Goodall, and Hilary Clinton.  Feminists walk across pageant stages, sit in the pages of magazines, work on construction sites, or can be stay at home moms.  Like in that movie “Mona Lisa Smiles,” when Julia Stiles’ character decides not to go to graduate school and instead wants to get married and have a family (hopefully I got the plot line right).  But she explains to Julia Roberts’ character that she is a feminist, and that means she has the right to choose whatever life path she wants, there is no right or wrong choice.


I came across two amazing articles a while back about White Privilege, Feminism, and Beyonce (I’m a woman of color and the issue of diverse feminist voices is another hot bed issue that rumbles around in my thoughts from time to time…and finding a way to incorporate Beyonce in to a current event post is a win all around) and recently an article in Elle Magazine called, “Why Can’t a Smart Woman Love Fashion,” piqued my interest.


I hope you take a moment to read both of these articles, and I would love to hear your thoughts on them.


XOXO,

MacKenzie


Update: I was reminded after I published this that today is International Women’s’ Day…what a fitting post to mark the occasion! 

My Superhero Origin Story

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This post was inspired by two things…I saw Fantastic Four yesterday (p.s. it wasn’t what the reviews made it out to be), and a classmate of mine from college.

The guy in the picture is my classmate King (that’s really his name, and it’s amazing). We worked on a group project together, and called me Superwoman. I can always count on King to remind me that I’m Superwoman, or to watch Orphan Black. He and his wife are two of the kindest people I’ve ever met, so this post goes out to you King.

Since I’m Superwoman, this post is my superhero origin story…an explanation of how I became the Type A, hardworking, overachieving, former jock turned beauty queen that I am now.  This is post was my business school essay for a particular Ivy, and I previously posted it on my last blog.  But two days out from beginning my next super adventure, it seemed only fitting that I shared this story again.

I remember the day vividly. I was six years old and attending my first end of the season banquet for the Kenwood Country Club swim team. I sat on the floor in front of the stage, while the parents and big kids occupied the tables scattered around the ballroom. My heart skipped a beat every time my coach picked up a trophy, announcing the winner. Girls High Point, 6 & Under High Point, Most Improved, the list continued to rattle on. I was one lone chocolate chip in a sea of vanilla ice cream.    I started to feel my little heart sink further with every name. Finally, I heard my name; it felt like I was floating, this was my moment. But, like the final scene from the movie Carrie, my award was a joke. The coach handed me an egg timer, my award, person with the busiest schedule. The coaching staff thought it would be funny to talk about how busy I’d been, juggling horseback riding, summer math emersion program, and swim team.

I watched as my dad leaned over to my mom, I’m guessing he said he was going to bring the car around, because when I looked back, after fixating on a carpet speck to keep from crying, I saw my mom. She mouthed the words “it’s okay”. When the award banquet ended and we stood at the front entrance waiting for my dad, I burst into tears. I have very nurturing parents, but in that moment my mom turned and said, “stop! Now you dry your tears,” she said through my sniffles, “don’t let them see you cry.” “If you don’t like the way they made you feel tonight, you can fix it. You can work and train, and your father and I will support you, but remember this feeling…and don’t ever let anyone make you feel like this, you shut them up with your success.”

The next year, I came back a beast. I set standards, crushed and silenced crowds with my times. I traveled the country and Australia, leaving a trail of heartbreak behind me, and competing every year at the Junior Olympics. I broke records that existed long before I, or my family would have even been allowed to set foot on some of those pool decks. I took my mother’s words to heart; I decided that no one would ever out work me. If I had to lose it would be only if I had done everything I could and left it all in the pool.

That night twenty years ago has stuck with me. Whenever I’m faced with what feels like an improbable task, I look at it as an “egg timer moment.”

In 2006, I was defined by my athletic prowess for more than a decade of my life before heading to college. My identity came from what I did in the pool. However, while juggling a learning disability and a double major my first year of college, I realized I could either major in swimming or focus on school. I walked away from the sport that defined and molded my character. I had a panic attack as I cleaned out my locker. I had to relearn and meet the new “MacKenzie.”

I took my passion and focus to University of Miami TV station. I had been a dominating force in the water; I figured it was only logical that on UMTV, I would be the next Robin Roberts. My first segment was an in-depth piece on then injured Pittsburg Steelers’ Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, and the perils of concussive injuries. To say I was a hot mess is an understatement. At the end of the segment, as the cameraman counted down, I signed off, and the red light atop the camera when blank. I felt the same pitiful, judgmental gazes I’d felt sitting on the floor at Kenwood. I walked back to my dorm and threw myself across my bed, drained and marinating on what the producer said, “not everyone is cut out to be on-air, and you might just be one of those people. Maybe you’d be better on radio.” My egg timer moment returned.

I was relentless, I was ready to silence the snide remarks and questioning glances towards the girl in a “boys’ club.” I became a repository of sports trivia; I filmed myself constantly refining my on camera appearance, and practiced incessantly reading stories out loud to my roommate. Next semester I nailed the audition but was assigned commentary segments, round table discussions and sideline segments instead of anchoring. I did not let that deter me; I was determined to be the best-prepared member of the team. I eventually sat behind the anchor desk for not one, but two shows. I was nominated for three SunCoast Emmys, and won two. I even had the distinct honor of being elected, by the Executive Board of UMTV, to manage the station. As manager, I was tasked to create and oversee content for eight UMTV shows. Additionally, I worked on the renewal of the station’s contract with Comcast South Florida. The same boys that mocked me, worked for me.

As my 20th birthday approached, I wondered how I would even begin to top what I’d done at such a young age. I wrote out a list of everything I wanted to do in my 20s, my bucket list. First, was a full marathon, I hadn’t run more than a mile during swim dry land training. I systematically broke down the task, found a training plan, all the while handing my daily tasks, and 5 months later crossed the finish line at the Walt Disney World Marathon.

Over the years, growing up with a mother, who was a former runway model, pictures of her gracing Parisian and Italian runways surrounded me. Ever year, we watched Beauty Pageants and I dreamt of gracing a stage – but I could barely walk in heels!

So my second bucket list item, I wanted my Cinderella moment. I decided to compete for Miss USA. I had no experience and didn’t know how to get started. I didn’t grow up a painted baby competing in the Toddlers and Tiaras pageant system. My time outside of school was spent either in swim practice, or mucking stalls and washing horses. Growing up my classmates complained I reeked of either chorine, or hay and horse manure. I researched and developed a spreadsheet of all the elements it would take to have my Eliza Doolittle transformation. I convinced a world-renowned pageant coach, she coached seven girls to Miss Universe titles, to take me on. I trained, practiced, and pushed myself to give my best effort. In seven months I transformed, I’m proud to say that on my first try I won the Miss District of Columbia title and headed to Miss USA in Las Vegas. There are a wealth of skills I learned that translate to the world of business, poise, confidence, professionalism in all situations. I honed my oral presentation skills, thinking quick under pressure, and adapting to all sorts of social situations. I’m a statistical anomaly, because parents are more likely to have a son play in the Super Bowl, than they are to have a daughter compete in Miss USA.

My father, Ernest Green, was part of the landmark group The Little Rock Nine, the nine black students that integrated Little Rock Central High School in 1957. My father was the lone senior and thus became the first African American to graduate from a segregated high school. I grew up looking at countless magazine articles, newspaper clips, and presidential letters. I sat through his Congressional Gold Medal ceremony, statue unveiling, the issuance by the US Mint of a silver dollar and US Postal Service commemorative stamps, in honor of the Nine.

“To whom so ever much is given, much is required,” is a motto I’ve heard repeatedly. I’ve been given a lot, and I expect a lot from myself in return. I have grown up with a man who left an indelible mark on the world, and that’s what I want to do. I’ve been given an incredible legacy, and I want to use it to give be a history maker, a game changer, and inspire generations to dream bigger.

I have faith in myself, and my abilities to step out and into the role of my full potential, and to follow my dream. I am not afraid of the challenge that lies ahead, but excited by the opportunity to grow and learn in a new environment. If given the opportunity to do so, I will not disappoint those who take a chance on me. I am a fast learner, hard worker, dedicated, and a team player. It is ultimately about potential and the ability to lead, that I believe is one of my qualifications. Above all, I am honest, poised, confident and focused.

Why me? Because there is no one better.

Why now? Because there is no better time.

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Clean Eating and Candice Kumai

When I was a pre-teen I was diagnosed with PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It’s a nasty health issue to deal with, and if you want to learn more follow this link.

I refused to spend my life taking countless pills and struggling to feel normal when all my friends were enjoying pre-teen life. I learned about blood sugar, macrobiotic eating, alkalizing your body, and a host of other healthy living topics. I’ve always had a fascination with holistic living. To be completely honest, my parents let my have a holistic living coach when I was 13, who also acted as my spiritual shaman, because I refused to take adderall after a teacher’s recommendation. I shopped at Whole Foods when it was still fresh fields, and I used to eat birthday carrots instead of cake…by choice (geez no wonder I had a hard time making friends).

It wasn’t until college that I started trading my raw vegan chocolate balls for chocolate cookies.

Now my body is so sensitive to clean eating that I can feel the imbalance coming. I swear if I get “cute” and binge on sugar I can legit feel the insulin pouring out of my eyeballs.

I’m always experimenting with how to enjoy food and feed my body properly. There are a host of chefs and cookbooks that do a solid job of helping to find that balance (shoutout to Rocco Di Spirito and Goop.com)…but my favorite and #WCW is Candice Kumai. Kumai is a former Top Chef contestant, Bar Method enthusiast, road runner, amazing chef, and all around badass.

This past Lent session I gave myself a Julie/Julia style challenge of cooking one recipe daily from her cookbooks: Cook Yourself Sexy, Pretty Delicious and Clean Green Drinks.

I cooked up a storm, made amazing things from scratch, tried new ingredients, and every day was a new culinary adventure. My real test was if my dad would eat it, I knew I was on to something…and he loved every bite.

I think the most daunting thing about changing your eating habits is the fear of deprivation, at least for me. I find that all of Candice’s recipes are bursting with flavor, and they even inspired me to create my own healthy swaps (I’ll share those another time).

But seriously, how could you not want to listen to this woman, look at her…

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Candice has a new cookbook out called, Clean Green Eats. I can not wait to work my way through the recipes in that book (when I moved to Manhattan one of the only boxes I cared about had all my healthy eating cookbooks).

XOXO,

MacKenzie